Rubix84 and DissertationCanWait Fanfic Collaboration
by DissertationCanWait
Summary: Somebody suggested that Rubix84 (Tumblr username: greenangelheart) and I collaborate on a fic, and we both liked the idea so we've gone for it! We're writing alternate chapters with a max of 1,000 words a time whenever the mood takes us, basically seeing where the story happens to progress. Posting it on here so we can keep some kind of track on it.
1. Chapter 1: The News (DCW)

_Chapter 1: The News (Written by me.)_

* * *

Rae's chest tightened as her Mum tread carefully into the kitchen, holding an A4 sized white envelope in her hand. It constricted further still when she noticed the emblem printed on it as her Mum passed it to her. Forever in the habit of keeping her expectations at below-ground level, she prepared herself for an inevitable rejection, trying to ignore her Mum who sat opposite her in obvious and eager anticipation. Rae moved to tear open the envelope, but her Mum quickly grabbed her hand, startling Rae. "Bloody hell Mum! What is it?"

"Look Rae, I just wanted to say…if it's not the answer you want, there are other options, other places, other courses, and Karim and I will be here to support you no matter what."

"I know, Mum." Rae replied, slightly irritated at this repeated declaration. She softened a little when her Mum's good intentions dawned on her. "Thanks." She smiled a small smile, trying to stop her hands from shaking with nerves. Linda nodded, slowly releasing Rae's hand as if she'd just balanced a china teapot on a thin rod.

Rae couldn't stand it any longer. Ripping the envelope open with gusto, she pulled out the letter and began to read, wanting it all over and done with. Her heart pounded as she read the first few lines, her eyes blurring under the stress. She'd read it right, though…

'Miss Rachel Earl,

I am pleased to inform you on behalf of University of Hull that you have been offered a place for admission in September 1998 to study BA (Hons) English, a 3 year course…'

"Well?" Linda asked impatiently.

Rae's heart continued to pound hard in happiness, excitement and disbelief. She'd got in! She has actually managed to obtain a place on the course she'd been dreaming about for the previous year.

"Rae?!" Linda continued as Rae only looked at the paper wide eyed, breathing hard. Her impatience got the better of her, and she suddenly snapped the paper from Rae's quivering hands before turning it and scanning the page.

A flash of sadness appeared in her expression before she swiftly covered it with a pleased smile.

"That's brilliant love, well done. Knew you'd do it if you worked hard enough." Linda said, pressing her hand on Rae's wrist and rocking it, before wiping a stray year from her eye and getting up to go to the garden to show Karim.

Rae sat there, listening to the muffled sounds of Karim's coo of congratulations, his voice and her Mum's voice getting nearer. Rae looked up from her daze as Karim came through, beaming and wiping his hands on his jeans. Rae stood, and Karim took two steps forward and enveloped her into a hug.

"Congratulations Rachel!" he beamed excitedly as he pulled back, Linda smiling at them from in front of the fridge.

"Thanks Karim. Don't go changing my room into a gym though!" she teased with a smile, Karim taking a while to register it before squeezing his eyes shut with another grin.

"I won't, I promise." he said with broken English. He'd been learning English ever since he'd moved in, and he pretty much had it handled a year later.

Karim retreated back to the garden, Linda walking forward and giving Rae's shoulder a squeeze, misty eyed, before putting the letter on the table and leaving to get dressed. Rae sat back down, alone once more, trying to get a grip on her erratic thoughts.

There was so much to do, so much to plan; she'd finally be getting out of Lincolnshire! Albeit, not very far away from it, but still, a new place was a new place. She never thought about going to university until the beginning of joining the upper sixth. Her Mum had been bugging her to apply herself and try and get into university so she wouldn't be in a "dead end job like her" but Rae had enough to worry about without thinking about that at the time. Yet as they began giving talks on it in school, the idea became more and more appealing to her, and her passion for literature and storytelling compelled her to go for it, the enthusiasm for the idea only increasing as she went through the motions.

Finn had decided to stay in Lincolnshire after he left school, taking a year out and getting a job at the local veg market with a mate of his Dad's. He'd insisted it wasn't because of her, after Rae had pleaded with him not to consider her too much in the decision.

"I don't know what I wanna do w'myself. Everybody tells ya to pick a career dead early on, but I don't like the thought of boxing myself into a corner, ya know? Anyway, there's no rush, is there?" he'd said, slinging an arm around Rae as they sat on the railings by the small playing field at school, discussing what his plans were.

"Alright, just as long as you're not staying because of me. If you wanted to move away, we'd make it work, I know we would." Rae said, Finn leaning over to kiss her on the cheek.

"I know, but this is what I want."

Rae felt a pang of sadness amidst her joy. Finn had been on board, encouraging Rae with her endeavour, even helping her with the application, but that had all been easier to deal with when the decision was up in the air and anything was possible. Now, she'd been accepted, and it was likely she'd be moving away within a few months. She hated the thought of being away from Finn, despite insisting they could make it work. They saw each other nearly every day, were pretty much inseparable. If they weren't visiting each other's houses, she was at the veg shop chatting to him on his break or he was driving her somewhere nice to hang out, eat chips and commit PDAs like they were going out of fashion – they were in each other's pockets, practically, so Rae had no idea how he'd take the news when she told him. She didn't even know how to go about it. Should she call him? Go round to his? He'd be working today – should she tell him at the shop, or wait until his shift had ended? Anxiety mingled with her shell shock as she eyed the photo of herself, Finn and his parents on a holiday in Corfu stuck to the fridge with a magnet, Finn soaking wet and beaming, his arms wrapped around Rae's shoulders as Steve and Julie stood behind them smiling, also in their swimsuits. Rae let out a sigh, the need to tell him the news gradually winning out over every other thought she had.


	2. Chapter 2: Melons (GAH)

_Chapter 2: Melons (Written by **Rubix84**)_

* * *

Finn recognised what was going to occur before it had even begun. He'd been around long enough to read the signs. He knew a disaster waiting to happen when he saw one. An almighty crash to his left indicated that his carefully built pyramid of melons had come tumbling down as little Danny Taylor raced around the shop playing aeroplanes, his outstretched arm slicing clean through the display of fruit. "Fuck" Finn swore under his breath as he watched the melons skip and hop across the cool concrete floor. He closed his eyes for a minute mentally willing himself not to lose his cool, praying the damn melons were not too badly damaged. Not that he really gave a bloody fig about melons in the first place. But this was what he had chosen to do when he finished school last year, really for the lack of a better plan. Finn returned his attention momentarily to the notepad in front of him, as the last of the melons scuttled along the floor coming to rest near his feet. Optimistically scrawled across the top of the page was the heading _Ideas for the future, _underlined three times for emphasis. Depressingly though the rest of the page was still empty, Finn glanced up at the clock, and had been for more than three quarters of an hour now.

It was just that everything today seemed to be grating on him, even more so than usual. Rae hadn't been into the shop all day, normally she would pop her head in at least once, whether on her way in to school, or during a free period, or sometimes she would come down and they would eat lunch together. It was always the highlight of his day when she came in, though if he told her this she would laugh and an adorable crimson blush would spread across her cheeks, and in her own special self-deprecating manner she would brush it off saying 'I'm only here for five minutes you idiot' looking at him like he was a crazy person, which he was insomuch that he was crazily and utterly head-over-heels for her. And even though he didn't believe it could be possible, sometimes he was sure he fell a little bit more in love with her every day. She didn't laugh when he occasionally found the words to share this thought with her, she would give him a look and a small smile that indicated that she felt the same way and leave Finn feeling like he had no choice but to kiss her senseless right there and then.

This fact made it all the more difficult when he found out that Izzy and Chloe had both started receiving letters in the post from universities that they had applied to. It would only be a matter of time now before Rae would receive hers, he had no doubt about that. Months previously he had been there by her side providing support and reassurance, telling her that she could absolutely do this as her confidence wavered and wobbled. He helped her to research the courses and universities she was interested in, read through her application forms, in which the passion she showed took his breath away. All the while he had kept a tight lid on his own insecurities and fears about his future, and about their future once she went off to university.

Rae had been wound tighter than one of those little wind-up Matchbox cars recently as days came and days went without any news in the mail for her. But he had complete faith that she would be accepted and when she was he wondered how things would work for them when she moved away.

It had become an almost unspoken understanding between him and Rae in the intervening months that the future was not up for open discussion. If he tried to start a conversation about it she would just glare at him and bring out her old standby of 'it will probably never happen'. So they didn't talk about it, their relationship hanging in a sort of stasis, waiting on the outside world to decide their fate. And that was fine months ago, when the whole issue of university seemed so far away, but now it felt to Finn felt like a cloud hanging over him, ready to burst at any minute.

Sighing he stepped out from behind the counter onto the shop floor. Mrs Taylor at least had the courtesy to look a bit bashful as she serenaded him with a chorus of apologies and 'well no harm done's. As she dragged her son by the hand out of the grocers. Finn just nodded politely and forced a tight smile in response, as he scurried about the shop retrieving the melons from every nook and cranny they had rolled into. Gathering them all up into a small trolley, one by one he began carefully placing them back on the stand. His mind, as this job often allowed, began wandering off again. Sometime he caught himself almost unconsciously half-wishing that Rae would not get accepted. Sometimes he would go as far as to imagine a life for the two of them here in Stamford, but then he would quickly hate himself for these bouts of selfishness, when Rae herself was so utterly selfless. It was another one of those things that she could never see about herself that he loved. He often wondered how somebody who could know him inside and out, better than he knew himself sometimes he thought, could not see all the wonderful things about herself.

The final melon replaced on top of the pile Finn returned to his position behind the counter. Chewing at the end of his ballpoint pen he studied the notepad hard, as if he hoped to glean the answers from between its blank lines.


	3. Chapter 3: Congratu (DCW)

_Chapter 3: Congratu (Written by me.)_

* * *

"Finn!"

Finn was jolted out of his thoughts by the sound of Barry calling him as he walked in from the back room with a cardboard box of pineapples in his arms.

"Delivery's here. Can ya help us with it?" he said in his gruff voice, Finn sliding his still blank notepad and pen under the desk in front of him before giving him a nod, heading to the back door to bring in the new stock.

"That girl o'yours gonna pop by today?" Barry asked from behind Finn as he replenished the cauliflowers. Finn shrugged. "Dunno. Maybe."

Finn was glad Barry was a chatterbox, like his Dad, because Finn wasn't one to say much, and he was rendered quieter still by his frayed nerves. Barry would make conversation with him every now and then, Finn usually responding with shrugs and one-word answers, but it didn't seem to phase anyone. Barry seemed to like him, and he'd mentioned once or twice how he'd noticed an increase in young female clientele ever since Finn had begun working there. Finn had been flirted with more than once whilst he was on shift, schoolgirls sometimes stopping to watch him through the window on their way home. He remembered Rae telling him how she'd left him once with a kiss goodbye, only to be greeted by four in awe year 9s as she'd walked out into the street.

"Are you his girlfriend?" one had squeaked, and Rae, half expecting an onslaught of cruelty, gave them a brief "Yeah." before going on her way, leaving the girls giggling and gushing in her wake. "She is so lucky!" she'd heard one say, and she couldn't help but laugh.

"Not like they're wrong." Finn had teased, flexing his bicep after she'd relayed the tale.

The memory of Rae rolling her eyes and lobbing a mushroom at him from across the shop made Finn miss her. He'd wanted to see her, and as the hours ticked by he realised with mounting disappointment that she wouldn't be coming in today. He didn't like to think of himself as clingy, but when somebody's mere presence, even for a few minutes brightens your day, it stands to reason that you're going to want that little high.

After helping close down the shop, he hung up his apron and grunted a goodbye to Barry as he got in his van. Still no sign of Rae. He looked at his watch: 4:30. She'd probably got caught up revising, he thought to himself as he began his walk home. His need to see her niggled at him as he went, and he decided to go to hers to say hello, maybe hang out in her room with her for an hour or two. Linda would probably say he could stay for tea as she usually did. Finn lifted the fabric of his t-shirt neckline to smell himself. He did stink a bit, but Rae didn't usually mind. Would probably tease him about it and make him laugh as always.

It was Karim who greeted him at the door after he'd knocked, Finn nodding an 'Alright.' to him.

"Hello! Come in, come in!" Karim said, a bit cheerier than usual. Finn followed him inside, a bit cautiously.

"Rachel, it is, err, Finn for you." Karim said as they made their way down the hall to the kitchen.

"Oh right…" he'd heard her say, a slight quiver in her voice. Finn walked in to find a large old woman in a flowery yellow dress sitting at the kitchen table, Rae standing up from the chair opposite as Finn came in.

"Hiya Finn." Linda greeted from his left, bum perched on the kitchen side. Finn clocked a big yellow cake in the middle of the table, could make out 'Congratu', iced on top of it, assuming the rest of the word was currently on the slices all four of them were currently in the process of eating.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt-" Finn began.

"Don't be daft! Have you told him the good news?" Linda asked, her gaze moving from Finn to Rae as she tentatively approached her boyfriend.

"I was gonna pop round yours in a bit, but Miss Dewhurst came round with a cake and…" Rae tried to explain, her apologetic sentence trailing off. Something sank in Finn's stomach as he began to realise what they were all celebrating. Even though he was sure this day would come, was convinced Rae would be successful, he couldn't help but wish those falling melons had buried him under them, couldn't help but sense, with a tightness in his stomach and a sting behind his eyes, that he would find coming to terms with Rae heading off to University a struggle.

"Have you got in?" Finn asked, Rae giving him the smallest of smiles and nodding quickly, eyes wide.

"That's great." Finn started through a forced grin. "Really great. I knew ya could do it." he said, stepping forward and pulling Rae into a hug. Rae was tense in his arms, and he assumed it was because he was also tense. It had been the most awkward hug they'd ever shared, the lack of intimacy they were so used to alarming to both of them. They could practically feel a chill as they'd parted, like a cool breeze had flown in from an unknown area, making them shiver inwardly.

"Are you going to introduce me to your young man then, Rachel?" Miss Dewhurst said from behind her, Rae breaking her concerned gaze from Finn to spin around with a forced smile.

"Yeah um – this is my boyfriend Finn, Miss Dewhurst." she continued, stepping away so Finn could give her a nod.

Miss Dewurst smiled, eyes sparkling. "Nice to meet you. It goes without saying that you'll have a slice of cake…" she began before Finn raised his hand slightly.

"No, no I really need to be getting home, but thanks though." Finn said. "I'll see ya all later." he concluded, Linda and Karim saying their goodbyes before he walked speedily to the front door, Rae following him.

"Finn-" she began, but couldn't find any words to follow it. Finn turned, forcing another small smile.

"I'll call ya later on, alright? Congratulations, Rae Rae." he said, voice devoid of affection despite his best efforts. He pulled her in once more to kiss her cheek before making his way out to the street, Rae's saddened gaze staying with him for the entire walk home.


	4. Chapter 4: Sad Songs (GAH)

_Chapter 4: "Sad Songs" (Written by Rubix84)_

* * *

The bed gave a satisfying creak as Finn flopped down onto the unmade sheets. He ignored his Dad's shouted greeting of hello up the stairs as he lay there following the lines of the cracks on his ceiling with his eyes. Sitting back up he grabbed his guitar from where it was propped up at the end of his bed, and began running his fingers over the strings feeling them twang back against his skin. He could see why all the best songs were derived from some sort of heartache as the chords naturally took on a melancholic tune as his fingers tried to make sense of the thoughts and feelings rattling around inside of him, each note an expression of some buried emotion.

Yes there had been times before when it felt like his whole world would come crashing down around him, as his and Rae's relationship hung by an invisible thread. There had been times dominated by shouting, and slammed doors, and recriminations, and accusations, and times when Finn would have got a kick out of the fiery passion blazing in Rae's eyes if he wasn't so damned pissed off with her.

Like when they had been dating for just a few months. Rae had turned seventeen, and her Mum had paid for her provisional driving licence as a present for her. She had arrived at his house beaming and full of plans for future road trips they could make, and the places they could travel to when she could share in the driving responsibilities as well. He hadn't hesitated when she'd suggested he could teach her how to drive, as she pointed out the stupidity of paying for some stuck-up driving instructor when her boyfriend could drive and had access to a car. That very evening for her first attempt he had driven them up to the local industrial estate, he remembered his Dad taking him here once to have a go in his car when he was a bit younger. Here she could have a practice in the well-loved Vauxhall Nova before risking it on the proper roads. His Dad had laughingly warned him as he left the house that giving his girlfriend driving lessons would only end in tears but wished him well. Those words of advice rang in his ears as Rae repeatedly failed to get the car started as she flooded the engine unable to master the manual choke at first. After much cursing though the car finally purred to life for her, and in her excitement she accidently floored the accelerator and her foot came off the clutch too quickly sending the car hurtling forwards, crashing over a speed bump before she brought it back under control. Suffice to say after he clambered out of the car to discover the exhaust now half hanging off he hadn't reacted that well to Rae's accusations about his abilities, or lack thereof, as a teacher. They didn't speak for days as they let the dust settle, and they never attempted another driving lesson together after this.

Or there was that incident he felt particularly stupid about now. He could always feel Rae tensing beside him if a girl so much as looked in his direction, but she never seemed to understand that watching her and Archie together used to make him feel like he had been hit in the gut with a sledgehammer. The knowledge that Rae had wanted to be with Archie before him cut him up, and when they were together there were still the exchanged looks, shared smiles, and just a bubbling undercurrent of something that he couldn't quite put his finger on. It didn't matter that Rae always returned to his side, eyes shining at him as she linked her hand back with his, he was sure than in those moments if you cut him open you would find his blood was boiling and spitting green with jealousy. Maybe it was because he didn't express himself very well, but Rae would always just tut at him, rolling her eyes, telling him he was bloody idiot, but there was never a denial or an explanation for their closeness. Then one night in the pub, when Archie was back for a weekend from university, after one (or four) too many Finn found himself inches away from punching Archie in his smug face. It had ended up with Rae, Archie and him stumbling outside, him all ready for a fight if need be, but then Archie had half-whispered half-shouted that he was gay. Finn had felt like such a dick that night, and for a good while afterwards and Rae didn't see him for a week, not even to hear his apologies, though Archie had been maddeningly gracious about the whole thing.

As the last note of the tune faded away under his fingertips he considered that this time was different. There had been no shouting or screaming, no argument to make up, no heat of the moment comments to apologise for, nothing out of the ordinary at all, and yet it felt to him like everything had changed and it had left him feeling wretched. He made a conscious decision to push these feeling down, he and Rae should be celebrating her achievement. Placing his guitar carefully onto the bed he levered himself up, and walked over to the wardrobe quickly changing out of his shop uniform into jeans and a t-shirt.

A couple of phone calls later and it was decided that the gang would meet down the pub later for a few drinks, Finn not telling them the good news, deciding Rae would want to do that herself. Finn lifted the phone to speak to Rae, let her know the plans, and this time he decided that the enthusiasm in his voice sounded far more authentic, and perhaps that's because it was, for now he had an inkling of a plan beginning to take shape in his mind.


	5. Chapter 5: Warm Lager (DCW)

_Chapter 1: Warm Lager (Written by me.)_

* * *

Rae couldn't shake the lingering thrum of sadness in her gut as she walked into the busy pub, the old codger knocking hard into her shoulder doing little to break her out of it. She hadn't wanted Finn to find out that way, like he was an outsider late to the party. She'd wanted to get him alone, to have time to think over how she was going to break the news – not have him pop by mere hours after she'd found out herself only to be told she'd got into uni by a product of Mrs Dewhurst's baking. Rae knew it would have been difficult news for him to swallow, and she couldn't blame him for running out like that when it had been lumped on him so unceremoniously. Everything had been a surreal blur ever since Rae had got that letter, and having Finn ring her to tell her he'd arranged a get together at the pub so she could break the news to the rest of the gang did little to comfort her. She couldn't gauge his mood over the phone, and he'd cut the conversation short, telling her his tea was ready, so she didn't have to chance to explain herself or to test the waters. As she clocked the gang sitting at their usual table, she was annoyed that she wouldn't have the opportunity to do so there, either.

Her eyes scanned over her friends, the absence of Archie another reminder for her to give him a ring and tell him the news later that evening. Izzy clocked Rae with a grin and a wave before nudging Finn next to her. Rae met Finn's eye and was surprised and tentatively relieved to find his warm grin to be genuine, if not slightly tinged with awkwardness. She'd walked halfway to the table before Finn shot up, bounding towards her and placing a hand on her arm, staying her before she'd got any closer to the table. He kissed her with the warmth of affection Rae had been used to – a stark contrast to the 'hug that will not be mentioned' they'd shared two days before – before moving his lips to her ear to convey a message.

"I'm sorry about the other day. I'm really happy for ya, promise. I was just a bit shocked is all." he said before pulling away to meet her gaze expectantly. Rae smiled at him, shaking her head in response. "It's fine. I really didn't want you to find out like that…"

"Finn, put Raemundo down and bring her 'ere…her lager's getting warm." Chop called over, Rae looking at Chop from over Finn's shoulder before meeting Finn's eye once again.

"Can we talk later? Just us two." she asked, Finn giving her a nod and a wink before leading her over, Rae sitting down and Finn sidling up next to her.

"Thanks Chopper." Rae smiled, taking the pint from him.

"No problem m'lady. It's the least I can do for a high flyin' lass such as yourself." Chop said with a bright eyed grin.

"What d'ya mean?" Rae asked, looking at Finn with a raised eyebrow. She'd wondered if he'd told them all; she really wouldn't have minded one bit if he did, but he shook his head, quashing her suspicions.

Izzy mirrored Chop's enthused grin, pressing her shoulders to her ears. Chloe glanced at Chop before landing her attention on Rae, a small smile pulling at her lips.

"Well, when Finn rang us up, he told us you had some good news, and we just thought that maybe you'd heard back from Hull?"

Rae shot Finn a lopsided smile, who just sat there chewing on his fore finger. She kept her amused gaze on him as she responded:

"I would see why you would think that, considering this is the time everybody's hearing back from different universities – what else would the good news be?" Her tone had a teasing edge to it, and Finn half rolled his eyes and slouched back with a huff as Rae continued to rib him silently with a tilt of her head.

"I didn't know they'd catch on, did I?" he said defensively, although his eyes remained soft. Rae shook her head with another teasing smirk before returning her attention to the other three.

"So you got in then?" Izzy beamed, Chop shaking his head incredulously and frowning down at her.

"You catch on quick, don't ya." he joked, Izzy's grin slackening slightly into a bashful smile. Rae ignored Chop's light hearted jibe, having an infinite amount of tolerance and time for Izzy's endearing ditzyness.

"Yeah I did Izzy." she smiled.

"That's so great, Rae! You're going to have so much fun." Izzy trilled, Chloe smiling and nodding in silent congratulations beside her.

"We all are! I can't wait to go to uni; I'm tired of schoolboys. It'll be nice to date some sexy seniors instead of prepubescent twerps." Chloe sighed with a slight crinkle of her nose. Rae caught Finn shooting Chloe a half hidden snarl from the corner of her eye, and she leaned into him, tucking her arm underneath his and fiddling with the cuff of his flannel shirt. He leaned his own weight into her, before Chloe continued.

"Of course, you two won't have to worry about that will ya? You've already got your guys." Chloe pointed out in her usual envy tinged cheeriness. She'd confessed to Rae that she'd felt even more of a gooseberry ever since Archie had left for uni – it had been her and _the couples_, so she'd spent a lot of her time going on dates, hoping to find a suitable boyfriend to bring into the group. She hadn't had much luck so far, and Rae could tell she was excited at the prospect of meeting someone in Reading, where she was headed.

"You've only got girls on your course, ain't ya Izzy?" Chop asked.

"Men can be nurses too ya know." Izzy repeated, exasperated over her boyfriend's instinctive sexism when it came to the subject.

"I can't get my head round that." Chop said for the millionth time, shaking his head and looking at Finn, hoping for back up.

Rae followed Chop's gaze to Finn's face, noticing how his expression had suddenly set. He was staring down into space, miles away, his eyes glazed over in deep thought. Rae shook him gently, making him come to himself with a distracted "What?"

Rae sagged back into her original unease, and the urge to talk to Finn properly about their situation niggled at her once again.

"Wake up mate! Have another drink." Chop began, making his way out of the booth. Finn shook his head, staying him by raising his hand.

"No it's alright mate – I've err, just remembered I've got something on. I'll catch ya guys later."

Finn unlinked his arm from Rae's, giving her a kiss on the cheek before making his way to go.

"Finn…?" Rae began as she watched Finn's retreating form with all too familiar concern.

"Sorry Rae. I'll call ya later, yeah?" Finn said distractedly before leaving, holding his jacket in his hands. So much for happy for her, Rae thought, swallowing thickly.


End file.
